The Irishman And The Mormon

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust: “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said: “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!!!”

this is how it works…

If you start with a cage containing 5 monkeys and inside the cage hang a banana on a string and then place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with the same result… all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five, replacing him with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment… with enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask..  because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Governments operate… and, is why, from time to time, ALL THE MONKEYS NEED TO BE REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.”You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said: “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy”. He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny”. He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: “Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy”. At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, “Come on, Willy, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Let’s pick up Dick from school and go get dinner”.

…si o poza care demonstreaza efectele defrisarii masive:


vremuri de rahat

tin minte cum, cind eram copil, bunica-mea imi dadea 20 lei si ma trimetea la piata, de unde ma intorceam cu 5 kile de cartofi, 2 piini, 3 sticle de lapte, juma’ de kil de brinza, 10 pliculete de ceai si 6 oua. si imi mai raminea si rest, de care imi cumparam io ce voiam. acum nu mai poti face asa ceva, au bagat astia camere de securitate peste tot.